I create this article to respond to Ekko’s Mittens (https://oldtimetraveler.travel.blog/2020/01/13/example-post/)as I am afraid the professor is unable to see my comment on Jan 17th.
Hi Ekko, I am Panda and I feel your journey to find back the memory is a very touching and warm one. As for your story, I have two points to say.
The first one is that it is a well-organized story, including the character, the plot, and also conversations. As a person who loses your memory, the first thing you want to do is to get back all memories. However, though God brings your memory away, you are also given an ability that can help you find it. This is one very important element consisting of your story and your character. Especially the sentences that describe how you relax yourself and try to find the pieces of broken memories from your brain, they conform to your character as a person losing his memory very well. For example, you write that “I know I’m still conscious and I know I’m awake but I just can’t fell any part of my body”, this seems to present the picture in front of me that you are trying to think of something but your consciousness is unable to do and your body is also out of control. In addition to those descriptions that make up your character, the plot is also very good. At the very beginning, you find that “you” are not in a good relationship with your parents, so “you” don’t want to go back home in the Spring Festival. However, when you are in the coffee bar and see the mittens, your lost memory is back and you decide to make “you” to call your parents, which is the turning point of your story. It is the turning point that makes your story wonderful and conforms to your title that home is the harbor. Therefore, seeing from the plot, it also suits your character very much.
The second point is that there is still something that you can improve in your next story. Firstly, since you are a soul who loses your memory and needs to find memory back through the body of different people, then it would be a bug that you can control that body. If in this condition, it is never hard for you to find memory back as you can make the body do anything such as looking for information from the telephone, looking for an identity card, or just asking your parents or friends to tell who you are. Therefore, I don’t think that the soul can control the body and it will be reasonable. Secondly, as you mention in your introduction, you will “travel to a person with the different time periods, different backgrounds and different gender”, and according to my understanding, you, the soul, will attach to the bodies of different people. In this condition, I think you should come back to the topic of “get back lost memories” by adding more about how those different people help you get your memory back. Overall, I think your story touches me much and the character you create conforms to your introduction well. One thing you can improve is that you can add more interesting or magical plots into your story since you are a time traveler!
A Cute Panda 